God of My Imagination
by DandereOtaku
Summary: The world is not a peaceful place. Death. Despair. Sorrow. I could not go on without knowing these things. Murder. Blood. War. These things can never be escaped. There is no ideal world. I will make them suffer for what they did. Ishvalla didn't stop them, so I think I just might have to play God.
1. Chapter 1

I can still remember that day like it was yesterday. The day the military came. The day they took everything. It all happened in the blink of an eye, yet now it feels so long. As if all their tortured souls are dangling above my head.

The ringing of children's voices. The gentle laugh of proud parents. The soft hum of the church bells ringing. They still echo in my ears.

I still see the sun beating down brightly, the small sweat drops trickling down our smiling faces. I never expected anything to go wrong.

Ashley had been playing with us that day. We were playing tag. She had never liked it when she was it, so when I tagged her she started to pout and whine. Ashley ran out to the road to complain to the grown-ups, but before she could get to the other side she plowed into a very tall woman wearing a uniform. We never expected more than Ashley saying she was sorry and leaving.

The woman was lovely to Ashley. She smiled and patted her head. I had looked at my friend, Louis. We grinned at Ashley's flustered expression.

Then, a short, echoing bang, and in that instant, I had no idea my life was changing. In that moment, I received from life a moment to come to know something vital. The world is not a peaceful place. Death. Despair. Sorrow. I could not go on without knowing these things. Murder. Blood. War. These things can never be escaped. There is no ideal world.

I looked quickly as the sound rang in my ears. That was when I was given an image to remember. An image I would never erase. An image as a constant reminder.

Red. Dark, scarlet red. As our smiles slowly faded away, it crept towards our feet, spreading through the depths of the light sand. And we just kept staring. That color could be traced to a source. There was no use trying to look away.

My heart pounded furiously. My head was cluttered with a thousand things. Pupils dilating, desperately groping for Louis' hand, I watched it. The cruel smile that crept along the officers cheekbones without hesitance. Ashley's wide eyes and gaping mouth. Her shirt, stained with blood, impaired with a hole in its breast.

Even as children who knew nothing of the despairs and sorrows of the world, we understood at that moment.

Ashley was going to die.

But, that day, in that minute, she was not yet gone. That is perhaps the cruelest moment my life has given me.

Ashley would not die until she had sputtered out a pool of blood, desperately digging her short fingernails into the soft sand. Omitting somewhat of a screeching yet weak, quiet, whimpering sound of absolute terror. Clawing at the earth, clinging to it as if it were her lifeline.

"Please… don't…"

And then, Ashley's hand slowly bent downwards, succumbing to the bullet deeply embedded in her heart. I watched every second that her hand slowly fell and her eyes began to close.

Ashley was dead.

And the officer?

She held a silver pistol, gleaming in the Ishvallan sun, grasped firmly and with ease. A proud smile danced along her cheeks.

That was only the beginning of my life in hell.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey everyone! I'm pretty new to fanfiction. I've been off and on writing for about a year now, and I wanted to get back on track by writing a fanfiction from one of my favourite anime, Fullmetal Alchemist. I hope you enjoy it, and I'm hoping to go pretty far with it. Please leave a review if you have the time as I am always happy to hear feedback to help my writing improve. Thank you all for reading!<strong>

**~DandereOtaku**


	2. Chapter 2

Everything happened in a rush after that.

The first thing I do remember is that Ashley's mother screamed. It was a harsh, piercing sound. It rung in my ears as I closed my hands tightly over my auricle. My mind was already yelling out for help. I couldn't take any more noise.

Ashley's mother, Kaya, rushed to her daughter's side. She had knelt down, her short fingernails clawing at her scalp, forcing her thick, white hair back. Kaya clutched Ashley's shoulder tightly, rolling her over on her back. She put her mouth, wet with the tears streaming steadily down her dark cheeks, to her daughter's, blowing air into her motionless body.

Beside me, Louis was gaping at the corpse that lay in front of her. Her eyes were wide, her arms limply hanging from her shoulders. Her sadness was outweighed by terror that was absolute, and Louis was rendered motionless.

In the moments that followed, I felt as if I were no longer in control of my own body. My knees collapsed on themselves, and my calves buckled under my thighs as I fell to the ground. Then, my eyelids fell onto my dark eyes.

A lone tear silently, hesitantly, rolled down the apple of my cheek.

And life had given me a reminder. The world can never be perfect. And sadness does exist.

Pouting because I scraped my knee. Whining we fought over who got more sweets. But none of those things were real.

This was not child's play.

A cold feeling washed over me. A million sounds cluttered my head and made it hard to breathe. Sobbing. Screaming. The air was full.

And another thing – not something of despair or grief. Something of awfully dismembering value in such a desperate time.

Laughter.

Joyful...

...and proud.

My heart skipped a beat, head slowly lifting as if commanded by the voice. My eyes snapped open, and the first thing I saw was the woman.

Fire danced in her eyes. Her yellow teeth displayed through a wide grin, she let a loud chuckle escape from her mouth. It was harsh and grating. The officer shoved her pistol back into its holster, and as she turned, I looked up at her desperately. One last moment, her eyes shot me a look of absolute callousness, superiority. As if in slow motion, her boots crunched against the soft sand as she stepped down the bright alleyway, back into reality, leaving us all behind in the darkness.

As another tear slowly grazed my cheekbone, I fell into the sand. My hands felt cold. I closed my eyes and clasp my fingertips around my ear. My knees weaken into my chest and I felt my slow, uneven heartbeat drumming and pulsing through my body.

I sealed myself out from the bleak ambiance that served as a compelling admonition: the authority obtained by the cycle of death and life is more dominant than anything that exists in this world. You could never withdraw from the jurisdiction that it had over all entities that exist whether dead or alive. While I was trying to keep myself away from it, in truth I felt more locked away. I knew then that I would never be able to escape. I would always be ruled by this radical judgement, and I always had been.

But the worst part was that I had never realized it before.

That was when life gave me a cage. It offered for me to hide away and retreat from the horror.

But because of that I was able to make a decision.

I would face that judgement head on.

I would not be afraid.

And that was when I thought…

…I could make some use out of this rule.

**Hey everyone! Thank you all so much for reading the first part of this story and leaving such wonderful reviews! I'm sorry I haven't been able to get this chapter up sooner. I hope you all continue to enjoy God of My Imagination. **

**Please feel free to review. Constructive criticism is very much appreciated. I will respond to all reviews personally, and I would like to thank you all for sharing your opinions.**

**~DandereOtaku**


	3. Chapter 3

It's been nearly ten years since that day. In 1901, when Ashley was shot, and my world broke into chaos, everything changed.

By the time the Ishvalan Civil War's objective had been met, my mother, my childhood friends, the benevolent priest of our church, my teachers, and my classmates were all dead. I was among the few survivors of the once prosperous land known as Ishval. Most of them were clustered in groups, and they head out on foot to establish the societies that live in the slums today. Others, with no strength remaining, stayed in the ruins and mourned, starving themselves until they could no longer continue. I chose to be alone.

When I left Ishval I was fifteen years old. "Ishvalan" was written across my body in a black felt marker. Lily white hair and golden tanned skin. Piercing red eyes and a plain cotton dress. I walked the blood stained ground with bare, bleeding feet, the stones and glass cutting closer my bone each step I dared take. I passed through familiar streets that were full of life and color, and through my eyes I saw a monotone reality, the damaged bodies left as the only fragment of the shopkeepers' once beautiful lives peeking through the corners of my bloodshot eyes.

Every step I took, I could feel the grainy sand beneath my feet. When gazing forward, the endless pale sky was falling on top of me as I crumbled. I told myself that I was weak. I was selfish. I did nothing for anyone. I did nothing but run. I would clench my fists, my grimy teeth pressing against one another, forcing my tears to fall only when the dirt blew into my eye.

After five days of this persistent weight upon my shoulders, the terrain began to change. I felt soft, lush grass underneath the weight of my bony, marred legs. A glint appeared in my eye as I took a simple look upwards to a bright sun, a light sky, a less heavy air. I once again, just like that day, felt my knees buckle under the weight of my much weaker body, and a tear fell from my right eyelid.

Above me, an oak sign, reading in soft print, "Welcome to Resembool".

And that time, life gave me, at least for a moment, the feeling that I had escaped from those eight years of hell.

**Hello everyone~ I apologise for the delay! I haven't been able to write this chapter for a while. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed this one. Please feel free to leave constructive criticism - I'm always looking to improve. I always try to read and respond to every comment or review I receive. Thanks for reading!**

**~DandereOtaku**


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